-Our president is a complete and total fuckhead. But I think that is fairly obvious. As if Saddam is just going to come waltzing out of Iraq. The fuckface is just foaming at the mouth to blow something up. Bill Clinton, pleeeease come back! As pandionna stated much more eloquently earlier today, maybe one little blow job doesn't hurt anybody. It may help the situation. That poor monkeyboy must have a lot of pent up energy. God forbid we send a human to do the dirty work, in this case, however. Perhaps we need a magical mechanical blow up doll. With suction action.

-I'm sorry that the one Dixie Chick had to apologize for her very honest statement. I'm also sorry that apparently we should apologize for the right to free speech. I'm sorry for bringing up such an antiquated subject as free speech. If I were to believe all the letters to the editor in my podunk hometown newspaper, well, then I guess I would be just like Them.

-Fuzzy Navel wine coolers, where have you been all my life?

-Apparently you have to know your PIN number to fill out the FAFSA online. Which I don't. Woops. Supposedly they're going to e-mail it to me. I'm still very, very unmotivated with the whole re-application process. The flute teacher at the Grad School made it seem like I was basically still in, fine and dandy. But I believe otherwise. Stupid fucking non-existent financial aid anyway. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess the government would rather spend money on a stupid war than send a poor person like me to grad school. A person who just aches to give the world something beautiful, to try and paint a picture, through music, of Times That Were Good, Once. I guess I'm silly and stupid for thinking that I could ever do something good. The world needs another flute player like it needs a giant smoking hole in the Middle East...

-I'm such an idiot.

-I'm an idiot that is going for Fuzzy Navel wine cooler number three of the evening.

-No, nevermind. Maybe I'm just a dork. A sad dork.

-I got my bike out and rode up and around the park today. It was nice. I'm slightly out of shape, obviously, but it was still nice. I'm very glad I took the day off for no reason and went outside a little bit.

-I need some motivation to practice flute. I don't need to get into that mindset of "what does it really matter anyway". Because it does matter. I need to get out of here. There is nothing, and no one, for me here. Not that there is much of anything for anybody here, but anyway! I've done my time in this dump. And yet, I don't recall committing any crime. Except that of being a poet, and not knowing it. You know I had to throw that one in.

-I will start reading "High Fidelity" soon, I promise.

-Having people ask you to be a reference on their resume is fun. Do employers actually call references? If so, I'm supposed to lie. Oh well. ;)

-I'm not saying that I have the intention of ever being "piss drunk" (present choice of beverage notwithstanding). Nor would I randomly sign people's guestbooks if I was in this state. But "eeeeee", you still make me laugh. You make me laugh very much. What if I want to give up? What if I should suddenly decide to seek redemption? forgiveness? nirvana? the ingredients to McDonald's "Secret" sauce? In other words, I could become a nun. Or a hermit. Or maybe a hermit nun. It is wrong of me to think about things that don't exist, or situations that will never happen. All my life I've waited for these things to fall into my lap. How silly of me. But then, that's me. Thank you for the funny note. :)

-Speaking of taking one's vows, I am told that a certain church's website says this: "150 years of putting crack into action". I'm sayin'! "Gimme that old time religion, gimme that old time religion!" I saw a bit of "Inherit the Wind" the other day and that song was in it. Dayton, Tennessee. I've been through there. Route 27. There's not much there. Maybe a Walmart. I can't really remember.

-I have to work tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it. There is no such thing as spring break for stupid retail jobs. Because, duh, that's what you do on spring break. Go to the mall. :-P Maybe I can go this week without buying another pair of shoes. It's a sickness. A sickness I tell you.

-Wow. I should shut up. Because I think the mopeyness is coming back. The mopeyness I dealt with all summer. I don't want to do that again. I want someone to tell me everything will be okay. Yes Miss Mara, a liar will do.

-Sometimes the hopelessness is just there. You know?

-Here comes numero quatre. Yay.

-Blargh. I'll feel better in the morning. Goodnight all. :)

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