Four days! Hehe!

***********

You know, I've been thinking about how it makes me mad when people get mad when other people complain.

"You should support the/your government/president/religion/parents/stupid boring hometown/etc. because this entity is REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE so therefore shut your piehole.

No. Wasn't America founded by a bunch of complainers?

*

King of England: "You people should believe what I tell you to believe because I am REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE."

Puritans (to themselves): "This sucks. We should have no king before God! Let's move to that weird America place where we can be free to practice our own religion and persecute everybody else like the natives and the real-life basis for Hester Prynne and in a few hundred years, Bill Clinton because dammit we want to leave a mark on society forever! To the bat Mayflower!"

*

About a hundred years later:

King of England: "Alright you colonists. You are going to pay taxes to me without any representation in Parliament because I am REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

Colonists (to themselves): "This sucks! All we want to do is drink inexpensive tea and maybe have our own country and stuff. So let's throw some tea in the harbor and have Paul Revere ride around and George Washington cross the Delaware and CALL OUR FRIENDS IN FRANCE and otherwise get those #@$@#$!##!!! redcoats out! To the bat tea party!"

*

South: "We don't want to be part of the Union anymore because we're lazy and we want to have slaves and our way of life is REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE! Oh yeah, damn Yankees!"

North (to Abraham Lincoln): "This sucks! Industry is the way to go! We don't discriminate on the basis of a child laborer's skin color! To the bat civil war!"

Abraham Lincoln (sighing): "War sucks. I'm going to go write the Gettysburg Address now."

*

US government: "We're going to give everyone the right to vote except women because what do women know about politics anyway and we are REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

Susan B. Anthony and others (to women in general): "This sucks! I know a helluva lot more about politics than most illiterate men that call themselves voters that I know! Let's work our asses off to get women the right to vote and vote! To the bat voting booth!"

*

US government (with the Puritanical religious right in their front pocket): "We are going to forbid everyone from drinking alcohol and call it Prohibition because it's the devil's drink and because we quit drinking (and snorting coke...) and found Jesus we are REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

Sensible drunks everywhere (to themselves): "This sucks. What a stupid goddamn law! Everyone knows God himself and Gentleman Jack are big pals from way back. Let's make liquor in our bathtubs and smuggle some in from Canada! To the bat speakeasy!"

*

Hitler: "I'm going to rule the world, because I am REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

America (to Hitler): "You suck! If anyone is going to rule the world around here, it's going to be us! To the bat bomber!"

*

Montgomery bus line: "Black people can't sit in the front of the bus because we said so because we are REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE and damn those Yankees!"

Rosa Parks: "This sucks! I'm tired so I'm going to sit wherever I want! To the bat bus boycott!"

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Right on, sister! This does suck! I'll help you, because you know what? That Gandhi guy was pretty cool and had the right idea. To the bat march!"

*

US government: "We are going to send hundreds of thousands of your friends, family, and neighbors to die in Vietnam because of those damn Commies and because we are REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

Hippies (to the armed guards standing in front of them): "This sucks! What the hell did Vietnam ever do to us? Make love, not war! What could be better than sex, drugs, and rock and roll? To the bat commune!"

*

Yeah.

Unfortunately nowadays, I don't hear enough complaining.

Kids in any little stupid boring hometown in the country: "I love this place! It's really great and I never want to leave! I want to stay here, go to the community college maybe, marry my high school sweetheart because if you don't meet your spouse in high school you never will, and sell real estate/work on daddy's farm/work in the grocery store forever because this town is REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

Crickets: *cricket noises*

*

US Supreme Court: "Forget about who actually won. We're going to make whoever we want be president because we are REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

Crickets: *cricket noises*

*

US government: "It's high time we had another pointless war around here! If we call it a "war to save the oil", that won't be good so let's lie and call it a "war on terror" even though the terrorists aren't really even in that country. So here's an American flag sticker for your SUV, Joe Schmo, because we are REALLY GREAT and otherwise INFALLIBLE!"

(Do you remember the scene in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" when the ark is in the box in the truck and the Nazi logo is miraculously burnt off of the box? Well I'd like to say the SUV is miraculously burnt off of the flag sticker here, but that would be wishful thinking, now wouldn't it?)

Joe Schmo (at gas station): "Gas is kind of expensive, huh? I wonder why?"

*********

There you have it, my rant of the day. Now go out there and exercise your R2D2-given right as an American to complain, would you? And always remember that the Statue of Liberty was in fact a gift from France....

Have a good day everyone. :)

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