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2002-09-09 - 1:54 a.m. I don't know why I'm not in bed right now. I just got hit by this feeling of inexplicable sadness. Kind of like this old pillow my parents were going to throw out several years ago. It had the happiest sunflower embroidered on the front, and a matching yellow trim. But the cover ripped and started peeling off, exposing the base pillow inside. The sunflower became all faded and dingy. I couldn't throw it away. It's the ugliest thing but it's still soft and pillowy. It still is good for resting a tired head or a sleepy cat. Maybe my cover is coming off. I think people want to throw me away. I've been relegated to a packrat's pile of junk. But I'm still here. Underneath the faded exterior, I'm still here.
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