Meh. 2003-11-07 - 12:36 p.m.
Is it me or is it extremely unnatural for my buddy list to say that I updated 2 days ago? Mmmyeah.
It is definitely the part of the semester during which everyone is walking around like zombies. This weekend will be spent writing papers. Oh yes. That is paper in the plural form. Meaning more than one. Asdfghjklppptth. God/Buddha/Allah/Mother Nature/R2D2/Bill Clinton/Ben & Jerry, please just let me live till two weeks from today.
But, I will be acquiring two more flute students next week. Flute students = money, and money = good. Blah. Dr. Flute Teacher always says I'd be such a good teacher. She says it's nice to "have a student who is so interested in teaching but who had never taught before". Um. Since when was I so interested in teaching? I am interested in playing the flute, not teaching flute. Yes, I have enjoyed teaching the two students I have now, mostly because I lucked out and got two kids that really want to learn, but to me, teaching is only a side gig. Ya know?
I guess I am coming off the throes of a major Flutist Negativity Moment (you know, "I suck, I'll never amount to anything, blah blah blah"). These things happen, and they suck, because somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear Bitchy McEvil basically telling me to give up music and become a nurse or something. Gah.
But I can't let Bitchy (the Flutist Negativity Queen) win, can I? I mean, I am getting to play a lot (it pays to be a graduate student and a performance major). The paid gigs will come. Maybe after Other Flute Graduate Student (who I can honestly say is the best not-quite professional I've ever heard) graduates, but they will come.
Maybe I just need to apply myself more? You know, like practice and stuff? So yeah. Why am I sitting here blabbing on about nothing? To the bat practice room!