Stupid bloody rain! I am obviously not at the parade right now. Granted I'm pretty sick so standing up for an hour might not have been a good idea anyway, but still. Stupidness.

Today is my sister's 16th birthday! I'm sure I will write more about this later. So people, *squints menacingly*, that means you have less than a month to teach me to drive, so I can get my license before she does!

HA. Yeah.

So here are some things that should happen today, but won't:

-Somebody should make me some devilled eggs (thanks a lot, Lola! hehe). With the little slice of green olive on top, just like mom used to make. Ah yes.

-Actually, while someone is in the kitchen cooking yummy things for me, the should also make some kind of chocolate cheesecake kind of thing. Or pie. When I made that beautiful key lime pie last October, no one came over to eat it. How ensaddening.

-"Conan the Barbarian" or "Conan the Destroyer" should be on TV. While I appreciate "Never Been Kissed" as much as the next girl, the USA network has really been lacking in the variety of its programming as of late. Really now. Sometimes all you want to see is the utter silliness of Arnold Schwarzenegger jumping around in a loincloth. Ewww, not now, of course. He's all old and stuff. (And by the way, how the hell can the Terminator come back, to a theater near me, after it was melted down? I'm confused.) But back in his Conan days. With the loincloth. Hahahahaha.

-Someone should go burn down the mall so I don't have to go to werk tomorrow. Or the next day. Or anymore, ever.

-Hmmmm. Dubya should resign the presidency. That would be fun.

-The TV should magically grow another jack or "hole in the TV", as Full-time Shoe Girl would say, so therefore the VCR/DVD could magically hook itself up and I can go watch "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me".

-Someone should explain to me why the hell I purchased "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me".

-Psycho ex-flute teacher Bitchy McEvil should suddenly get the urge to move someplace far away, like, I don't know, the North Pole or Zimbabwe or Pluto and then the symphony should call me up and say, "Look, Sarah, we know you were Bitchy's faaaaavorite student, so like, if you come and take her place in the symphony, we'll program the Beethoven 9 at every concert and maybe sometimes "Rhapsody in Blue" or "Appalachian Spring". So yeah, please come be in the symphony because you are obviously God/Buddha/Allah/Mother Nature/R2D2/Ben & Jerry/Bill Clinton 's gift to the flute and we will pay you $100,000 a year because you are THAT good."

And there you have it. I am officially insane. I should go back to bed. Have a lovely day and stuff.

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