A Monday morning delusion, just for you! 2003-03-03 - 7:53 a.m.
I'm sorry, but this is just about the funniest horoscope I've ever seen in my life:
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Jack Daniels used to be your best friend, but as a qualified closet alcoholic, you should think about diversifying your moonshine portfolio. Branch out to the wide world of bottles available to temporarily ameliorate your sad, sad life.
"Moonshine portfolio." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I think the temperature outside is somewhere in the nebulous "really fucking cold" range. Yeppers. That being said, time to get ready for werk.
It looks more fun spelled that way. Hey now, it's Monday, I am allowed to be a litte delusional. :-P