-flute player

-flute-playing bum that plays on the street for Dum Dums

-dancer/bartender at Coyote Ugly

-professional witness at a wedding chapel in Vegas

-cat lady

-Professional Dork

After much consideration, I would like to add another option to this list.

Spice Girl.

Obviously, I would be Flutey Spice. In music videos, I would wear my long black recital dress, and my fluorescent green button that says "Flutes do it best!" I would be the cool geeky one that comes up with song lyrics like this:

"If you wannabe my accompanist/You gotta get with Ibert./Concertos last forever/Applause never ends!

If you wannabe my accompanist/You have got to wail./Piano is too easy/But that's the way it is!"

and this:

"Slam your music down and throw it to the ground! Slam your music down and flutey flute flute!"

Although, when I assume my new identity of Flutey Spice, I will not date or marry any British "football" players. I will not date or marry naked guys that run across British "football" fields for Nike commercials either.

Thank you. The career counselor has left the building.

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