Rants and ravings and wails and sob stories and other stuff 2002-11-21 - 10:42 p.m.
Wow. I've been struggling to think of something useful to say. It hasn't been working out so well. Actually work went by really fast. But it seems like every idiot old lady under the sun was in there with some kind of complicated return or something equally as annoying. One lady wanted a sales adjust for the grand total of $1.50. I mean, it's nice that Sears will let you do that- get money back on an item if it goes on sale and you paid the original price. It's pedantic and sad that these old ladies have nothing better to do than argue over the difference of $1.50 on one ugly sweater. Oh fucking well. Naturally they scheduled me from 7AM(!)-4PM next Saturday, when I explicitly said I was only available after 6PM, if at all. Bitches. I am going to a 1PM football game. I paid $64 for two non-refundable tickets. I am NOT going to work. For whatever dumb reason, a goofy thing like a football game at my alma mater would make me sublimely happy right now. My life is sorely lacking in sublime happiness. So I left the manager girl a note to tell her to fix it, pronto. I am not going to work. If they don't like it, they can shove things in places that have never had things in them before.
*end rant*
Other than that, work was work. One lady actually came up to the register and said she loves shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. If anyone has a spare machete I can leave under the cash register, please let me know.
*oooh, I'm really vicious tonight!*
Maybe there's a good reason I am suddenly angry about work and/or what my life has become. Maybe it's not my fault. Maybe I didn't recently become so boring or so annoying or so loserlike or so dull, at least in appearance to others. Maybe I didn't change at all. Maybe it's time to find a scapegoat. Grrrrr.
Seriously, why am I so mad?
Thanks to Leroy for the wonderful words of encouragement. Hmmm. I have been somewhere on the dark side of the moon tonight. I wish I could stay there. I don't know. Maybe being flung off into space to drift away into nothingness for eternity would be a better idea.
It's all so pointless. Everything. Just pointless. It doesn't matter what I do in January. That won't change one important thing, and that's the thing I wish would change more than anything. That, I think, is my underlying problem. And it sucks. It's stupid. I'm better than that. At least, that's what I pretend to tell myself. But it's all one very stupid little thing. Forgive me for not elaborating, but it just doesn't matter. Because it's pointless, you see.
Here I am again, teetering somewhere on the brink of utter self-loathing, but yet I have no desire to get outrageously drunk. Half a three month old Bacardi Silver and I've had enough already. I'm even a disgrace to all the alcoholics in my family.