The Definitive Explanation of Why My Couch Smells Like Febreze 2002-08-27 - 12:06 p.m.
Hi! I'm actually in a good mood, maybe feeling like I can accomplish something today. But first I thought I could appease my 4.3 fans (I say .3 because my grandma probably likes me but she doesn't have a computer so she can't read this anyway. Actually it took her about two years before she knew how to turn on her VCR.) by explaining some of the roots of my annoyingness:
1. Ok, first of all, why mangoes?
This all goes back to high school when one used to write notes in class, throw them at one's friends when the teacher isn't looking, that sort of thing. One day, I think in 11th grade, I was naturally complaining to someone about being tired and stressed out (tired and stressed out in high school????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) so I just decided to randomly say (I am prone to random announcements sometimes): "Let's all go to Tahiti and farm mangoes." It's not so much that I really like mangoes, in fact, I only tried an actual mango once when they were on sale at the grocery store (not the rinky-dink one I've worked at, thank you very much) and it was only ok. Farming mangoes on Tahiti is more like a metaphor for getting away from the humdrum existence that you're faced with everyday and finally finding a place, both within and without, that you can really be yourself and just live. Philosophical little Mangofarmer, isn't she? Yes... "philosophical".... that's the diagnosis for when the men in the nice white coats come in their nice padded wagon....
2. So. Why do you spend so much time on the computer?
I am addicted to four things. Internet, Instant Messager, Solitaire, and Minesweeper. Besides those things and word processing I don't know how to do anything else with my computer. I know, I know, somebody drop a printer on my head. At any rate, my experience this summer is that I didn't have anything else to do anyway. It's ok though, I've long ago accepted the fact that I'm a geek.
3. Ok then, next question. What kind of geek are you?
I am a recovering band geek, thank you. You can take the geek out of band, true, but in some ways you can't take the band out of geek (cue cheesy music here). But eight years of marching band is enough for two lifetimes, I think. Just don't let me get started on the combination of nachos, Mountain Dew, and marching band at competitions or games..
4. HAHAHAHA you geek! No one cares.
You asked. :P
5. So you have an absolutely useless college degree. What are you going to do now?
Go to Tahiti.... I mean Disneyland...? No, uh, I'm going to bide my time until January when I can start the next useless degree. Some people say that musicians should have at least one ed degree to "fall back on". No no no no no, not in my book. Teaching is too important a job for it to be a secondary pursuit.
6. Yes but, in the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus", Mr. Holland thought the same way and he ended up loving teaching.
I owe it to all those kids I would potentially be teaching NOT to be a teacher. Just trust me. I'd hate it. There's no way you can convince me otherwise. Plus, speaking in front of a group of people is #3 on my absolute worst fears list, behind heights and bugs. So have me covered in bugs, teaching a lesson to a bunch of smelly middle schoolers at the edge of a cliff, and you can just watch me have a coronary right then and there (I hope you know CPR). I'm perfectly content with being just another useless flute player in the world. I'll send you a postcard from my dumpster (being a street musician is a high profile gig you know, if you pick the right corner, as in, don't count on doing too well on any corner in my town...).
7. So the point of all this was....?
"This is the day, Judah."
"Yes, this is the day."
Sorry, I still kind of want to watch "Ben-Hur". I think that should explain that I have nothing better to do. Au revoir, mes cheries! :)