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Let's play name that tune!
2003-03-21 - 10:04 p.m.


I just watched some documentary on HBO about child beauty pageants. It was disturbing. The little 5 year old that the filmmakers were focusing on looked almost exactly like one of my little cousins, and WAS WEARING MORE MAKEUP ON HER FACE AT ONE TIME THAN I HAVE EVER WORN IN MY LIFETIME PUT TOGETHER.

To me, there is something inherently wrong with people dressing their children up like Barbie dolls and parading them around like monkeys. Maybe it's just me. While, in my humble opinion, I think all beauty pageants are like this, but at least Miss America probably wasn't forced to be there by her parents, who seek only to make up for their own shortcomings.

Maybe I'm missing the redeeming quality of these things. If so, please let me know.

Yet, the irony here is that I watch "Miss Congeniality" every time it's on. Maybe this is my psyche jealously lashing out at my parents for not parading me around like a trained monkey. After all, trained monkeys really do make it quite far these days. Even to the White House. Heh.

"And I really do want world peace!"

*******************

I'm rather bored. So what better is there to do then copy Laura and play a little name that tune. E-mail me at [email protected] if you've got the answers. ALL the answers. Or clutter up the guestbook if you will. Whatever. Name the artist and song title that goes with these lyrics. The winner will get a prize, which may or may not include naked pictures.

Hey, I didn't say naked pictures of me, you perverts.

1) "The bottle is waiting, the cap is twisted, begging to be used and so are you."

2) "Life is a bitch and then you die."

3) "Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train. And I's feelin' near as faded as my jeans."

4) "What have I done to deserve such a fate? I realize I have left it too late. And so it's true, pride comes before a fall. I'm telling you so that you won't lose all."

5) "Home alone on Friday nights, but I got eight gigabytes left on my hard drive."

6) "I'll be alone, dancing, you know it baby."

7) "If you can abide it, let the hurdy-gurdy play. Stranger ones have come by here before they flew away."

8) "If it's not the defense then you're on the attack. When you start talking I hear the Prozac. Convinced you found your place with the pierced queer teens in cyberspace."

9) "How you gonna win when you ain't right within?"

10) "Tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him he best go run and hide. Daddy's got a new .45"

11) "Some sweat hog mama with a face like a gent said my get up and go musta got up and went. You got good news but you're a real good liar cause backstage lover set your pants on fire."

12) "I don't care if the sun don't shine and I don't care if nothing is mine."

13) "But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda."

14) "What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new just by saying I love you."

15) "Don't worry 'bout nothing 'cause it won't take long. We're gonna put you in a trance with a funky song"

16) "I'm like a train I roll hard lettin off much steam in the Carhart flannel and dusty jeans, baby. I never was cool with James Dean but I be hanging tough with my man Jim Beam."

17) "Tell me all the things that I want to hear."

18) "The days are bright and filled with pain, enclose me in your gentle rain. The time you ran was too insane. We'll meet again, we'll meet again."

19) "When you lived inside of me there was nothing I could conceive that you wouldn't do for me. Trouble seemed so far away, you changed that right away, baby."

20) "I've been wrong, I've been down, to the bottom of every bottle."

21) "Gonna ride me a southbound all the way to Georgia now, 'til the train it run out of track."

22) "And the man in the rain picked up his bag of secrets, and journeyed up the mountainside, far above the clouds, and nothing was ever heard from him again, except for the sound of Tubular Bells."

23) "Starry night bring me down, till I realize the moon. It seems so distant yet I felt it pass right through. And I see what I see a new world is over me."

24) "Something's wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight and they aren't of snow white."

25) "Guess what I received in the mail today? Words of deep concern from my little brother."

26) "Last night a little dancer came dancin' to my door. Last night a little angel came pumpin cross my floor. She said, "Come on baby I got a license for love, and if it expires pray help from above."

27) "I see you, the only one who knew me. But now your eyes see through me. I guess I was wrong."

28) "Somebody said that they're not much like I am. I know I can't make it up. Although if you go along, I'll sing your song."

29) "Now that the party is jumping, with the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'. Quick to the point, to the point no faking, I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon."

30) "You got the peaches, I got the cream."

Awwww yeah. I'm a geek. A geek who obviously must related well to song lyric #5. Oh well, I did buy more fuzzy navel wine coolers. Sometimes, if you want to have fun, you do it yourself. Or you can sit at the computer and play Solitaire all night. Good times.

Have a lovely evening. :)

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