Eeeeeebert & Roper - 2004-01-25 03:20:35

While we don't normally review written works, a certain celebrity referred us to your diary, and we must say, it's quite interesting. The emotion, the weirdness, the utter geekiness--all elements of mainstream teenage cinema. Have you no life? Or perhaps we should be asking you, is THIS masterpiece your life? If it is, we're terribly sorry for your raw deal and wish you the best of luck finding gigs in the future to pay off the mortgage on your cardboard--I mean, really, we just sit on our asses all day and watch movies and get paid $1,0--oh nevermind. We have a better life for you, Ms. Sarah, if you would just take a moment out of your busy (ha!) day to consider our proposal. With one exception, we would like to adapt your diary to the silver screen (sans the Sears part and sans grad school and sans everything related to band). You select the cast (except for the person playing you...Roseanne wants the part). You select the music (well, the producer tells us you're limited to one Copeland track on repeat), and you may shoot anywhere in Kentucky. The exception is that in order for any major Tinsel Town agency to accept this for adaptation, it MUST have grotesque amounts of sex and violence to compensate for its geekiness. Even if you have to fabricate the above, it's one small price to pay for a better life. We believe that doors are opening. The choice is yours.

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Some things:

-Which celebrity was it?

-With copious amounts of sex and violence (hopefully more of the former rather than the latter), would that really be a true cinematic vision of the Everlasting and Eternal Boredom you all know and love?

-Wait a minute, who really wants to see grotesque amounts of sex if it involves Roseanne? I mean, really. Ewww.

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Well, I really have nothing of importance to say now. I spent my day being very very geeky. I doubt Mr. Eeeeeebert and Mr. Roeper want to hear about it, so... heh.

Have a lovely evening all. :)

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