You suck.

Sincerely,

"I like the bottoms of my shoes poop-free, thankyouverymuch"

*

Dear cleaning ladies,

Please for the love of the internet and Al Gore, clean up said mess and stick an air freshener somewhere. Thank you.

Signed,

Tenant who has no dogs

*

Dear Gradschoolville,

Who wants to take me to the airport at ass thirty in the morning on Thursday?

Yours truly,

Girl who will cook dinner! And bake cookies!

*

Dear Edward Elgar,

I'm sorry we suck at your piece so much. "Nimrod" used to be my favorite movement. Now playing it only makes me feel like a nimrod. Not that I really know what a nimrod is, but I'm assuming it's something slow and loogy, like a violist that couldn't play in time if their scholarship depended on it. Luckily for them, the music school is apparently sympathetic.

Sincerely,

Piccolo Chick

*

Dear good wooden piccolo belonging to the school,

You are too damn nice for the likes of me to play. I like my little metal piccolo. Her name is Lucy (i.t.S.w.D.). Nacho residue makes piccolos play better.

Yours overly truthfully,

Piccolo Chick #5

*

Dear BigAss Loan Corporation,

Please give me more money next semester. Like, for example, enough to pay rent for an entire semester. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Your very best loan -er- loanee? person

*

Dear neck,

Stop hurting.

Love,

"You're not the only body part around here.... wait, that doesn't sound so good.... "

*

Dear Credit Card A,

Feel free to raise the balance again, anytime you want.

Sincerely,

Your best -er- credit person?

*

Dear diaryland,

Take my surveys. I always find the answers imminently amusing. :)

Love,

Mangofarmer :)

*

That's all. Have a good evening all.

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