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Here comes that vile ooze again.
2003-07-15 - 11:39 a.m.


*WARNING: Bitter, oozy, schmuck-like ranting ahead*

Perhaps some possible explanations as to why I went absolutely berserk last night and started screaming at my sister because she was drinking my vanilla Coke which is the stuff that she "doesn't even like

-There was further talk of the Sizz-ears "grand reopening" before werk. I believe this "grand reopening" will now include the HS marching band. Obviously I am more than thrilled to have my former band director see me working at Sizz-ears. I think maybe I would have to leave that weekend anyway. So perhaps I will give my notice for the day before.

-This girl I graduated high school with that works at Eckerd is now pregnant. She told me so matter-of-factly, that I seriously thought she was joking. But I managed to come up with a half-hearted "Congratulations...?" I don't know why this bothers me so much. She's 23. People in our graduating class are dropping like flies.... er, I mean getting married, having kids, etc. all the time. So what is my problem? Am I jealous about... some... things? Ha. Yes, even sweet, innocent Sarah (at least) knows about the birds and the bees. Not really. Maybe I'm jealous that she has found a committed, serious relationship? I don't know.

-Actually, the first trip to Eckerd of the evening I didn't get an ink cartridge, because in all my current state of brainlessness (and because I haven't changed the cartridge since we got the piece-o-crap printer), I didn't even remember what kind we had. So I got home and told my sister to go get one in the morning. But then I started feeling guilty. So I went back and got one.

-I indeed figured out how to mix my own non-frozen, yet just as delectable mudslide. Why do (future) alcoholics, all alone, seek their solace in the bottle? Because they have no friends. Correction- they have no "friends" other than the ones that only call them because their idiot piano players do not know how to play the fucking Pachelbel Canon (see previous bitterness point about the epidemic of "friends" getting married).

-My dad had one of his annoyingness fits. So he yells at me for not cooking dinner and he yells at me for needing a ride to the movies (I'm sorry if I want to hang out with my sister, whom I only see twice a year). I guess there is a reason why 20-somethings should have licenses and not live with their parents.

-This really goes without saying. Summer is half over. And I've done nothing. I'd done nothing at this point last summer either. Summer used to be such a happy time. What happened in the past two summers to make it otherwise?

I don't know. I guess I had more stuff to say along these lines but I forgot. I hate writing shit like this, just as I'm sure you hate reading it. But you know what, it's my diary and I will whine if I want to.

Everyone is allowed their moments (days... weeks.... months... years) of utter self-loathing, right?

Off to get ready for werk. Have a good day everyone.

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