-Steve Martin. Very, very funny. That bit where the camera showed all the audience members he supposedly "slept" with? Very funny.

-Michael Moore. I have not seen "Bowling for Columbine". I'd imagine it must be a very politically charged film with an important message. While I admire his guts and agree with what he said in his speech, I don't think that was quite the proper forum. Mostly because

-Adrien Brody said it better. I have to see "The Pianist" now.

-If I became a lesbian, would Catherine Zeta-Jones decide to become a lesbian too and therefore leave Michael Douglas for me? Somehow I don't think so.

-Colin Farrell? Hot.

Yes, I think that is about it. It was a good show. Much MUCH better than watching basketball. Eating brussels sprouts is much MUCH better than watching basketball. Slowly hacking off all your appendages with a dull axe is much MUCH better than watching basketball. Prying ugly old granny shoes off of ugly, calloused, stinky, old granny feet all day is much MUCH better than watching basketball. I think perhaps you get the idea. But just in case you don't, let me repeat myself:

I HATE BASKETBALL.

Thank you, and goodnight.

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