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All's not well in fair Shoetopia
2003-02-19 - 9:35 p.m.


Holy heatwave, Batman! Tomorrow it's supposed to go up to 40 (that's Fahrenheit, mind you). I feel almost like busting out the shorts and sandals. And the spaghetti strap tank tops. Especially those. Because if I happened to show up to work tomorrow in such a getup, they just might fire me. And then I would cry. No, not really. I would say "Woohoo! Laterz bitchez (I would say that just how it's spelled)!"

Well, no. I wouldn't do that. Not really. But it looks like I'm going to be working by myself for the next three days. Three days of folding PANTS and looking clueless when people ask me about toasters and then hanging PANTS and the like. Grrrrr.

Oh. Shoetopia tonight was less than idyllic. Every single customer seemed to have a death wish directed towards me. I swear every yokel in a three county radius wanted to try own every single pair of big bulky work boots in stock. Naturally all of these boots were on the very top shelves. So I had to take my dead sexy little self in my Mary Janes and $11 clearance skirt up to the top of the ladder dozens of times. Which of course is not beneficial for my intense fear of heights. Yeah.

And then, oh, and then, at about 8:45, my mom's ex-boss came in with her son! See, my mom used to be the manager of a speciality store (which must remain nameless) at good mall. This lady was some kind of regional manager or something like that. Anyway, basically she was all set to fire my mom because she was too old. I am quite serious. Granted the clothes in this store were a bit younger than my moms age level, but still. I enjoyed taking advantage of her discount. ;) Anyway, so my mom quit before the evil lady could fire her. And she couldn't find a job around here after that, so she moved away and manages an old lady clothing store now which of course makes me sad because I don't enjoy wearing old lady clothes, esepcially expensive ones like those.

At any rate, this lady is pure evil. She once had me babysit her kid. She wanted me to watch him while she was getting her nails done. But she wanted me to watch him in the salon. I guess she wanted to watch me make a complete fool of myself chasing an extremely rambunctious baby around a salon full of stupid rich bitches.

Yes. So I definitely do not like this woman. Luckily she didn't actually buy anything, so I didn't have to talk to her. Because, even if she remembers who I am, she apparently chooses not to show it. This lady seems to think my family are peons. And the funny thing is, I see her everywhere too. I had the misfortune of seeing her and her kid in Wallyworld once. I tried to bug people into kidnapping the kid, but they wouldn't, goldarnit.

Anyway, I was very satisfied to note that the lady made a beeline for the shoe clearance room. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Well that was pretty much my exciting night at work. It went by really fast, actually. Not that I really want to work back there more often to take advantage of this phenomenon. Because I don't. I hate shoes. If I had my druthers, I would only wear three pairs of shoes ever: my ratty Adidas sneakers, my clunky Skechers, and my Old Navy flip flops. Maybe my Mary Janes sometimes. Okay then four pairs. But only four. Okay maybe my black open toe heels that I'm not allowed to wear to work. So five. But that's it. Yeah. Five.

I'm sure you all wanted to know that.

The excitement just knows no end. I guess I should get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Reasonable bedtime = no fun. Would that I could be seeing the world through strawberry daiquiri flavored edible (potable?) glasses right now....

Goodnight all. :)

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