*thinks hard, takes a sip of flat vanilla Coke, and hits knee on desk*

Thinking is hazardous to your health. I should stop.

Yeah. So I made something akin to egg salad earlier. It has eggs in it, and a whole mess of other crap. My sister (whose school is closed because of a whole two inches of snow) had some and said, "This crap is interesting." Did I ever mention our family seems to have interesting experiences with egg salad? No? Ok good.

Well my dad went to Catholic school, so there were nuns. There were even cafeteria nuns. One day, my dad had to buy lunch in the cafeteria, and somehow he ended up with an egg salad sandwich. This was less than appealing. He tried to trade sandwiches with his friends. Nothing. So he picked at his sandwich in a less than enthusiastic way. One of the cafeteria nuns came over to him and said, "You can't go anywhere until you finish your sandwich." So my dad sat there for quite a while, until the nun finally allowed him to leave, carrying the left over sandwich, thinking he would be the good little altar boy and go home and finish the sandwich like he was told. Not so. The sandwich ended up in the storm drain in front of the school. Where we all suspect it sits to this day....

Now, in other versions of this story, Mother Theresa shows up and intervenes on my dad's behalf, and in other's it's the Pope himself. Sometimes even Superman.

Um, yeah. Now as for me, my run-ins with egg salad have been much less memorable. I know simply that egg salad is a poor excuse for the usual Thursday barbeque chicken sandwich at school. But I think most people know that too.

I'm going to stop talking about egg salad now. Instead I will go make some toffee bars, because I am a damn good cook and I am damn bored. Damn damn damn. Don't I just lead the most interesting stupid little life ever? :)

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