Current Entry
Archives
Profile
Notes
Guestbook
Rings
Email
Host
Designs

RECENT ENTRIES


Diaryversary. What what now?
OMG! Diaryland! Aren't you cute?
Mind the gap.
Oh hai, part deux.
Oh hai.

2007 Booklist
2006 Booklist
2005 Booklist
2004 Booklist
The bestest people on earth!
Basketball is EVIL
Mangofarmer saves TV!
Just another day in the neighborhood
Things that are good and things that are bad
New and Improved! 107 facts
cast
Trading card
Diaryrings A-J
Diaryrings L-Z
Strange google hits
mangosurvey
mangosurvey2
mangosurvey3
mangosurvey4
mangosurvey5
mangosurvey6
mangosurvey7
mangosurvey8
mangosurvey9
mangorama
mangomango
mangogoogoo
mangofest
mangoshake
mangopuke
mangorita
mangolassi
mamamamango

mangoognam
Ooooooh baby, randomize me!

This is the be-all, end-all of pathetic loserly boredom- an overweight gorilla and Dubya. Wait a minute, aren't they one and the same?
2003-01-16 - 6:18 p.m.


I am really very very very painfully bored. These are some things I would do right now if they would make me less bored:

-randomly start quoting the lyrics of various boy bands to everyone on my AIM buddy list until someone starts talking to me

-set fire to every piece of clothing I own, with my eyes, until someone updates their diary

-pick the fleas off an overweight, gassy gorilla

-attend an all-night marathon of Pauly Shore movies

-go back to high school for a day

-go bar-hopping, in uniform (tight-ass black pants, halter top, and clunky heels) with a pack of sorority girls

-play piccolo literally until my ears start bleeding because I've ruptured both my eardrums

-dress up in an old-style pinstripe suit with spats and a fedora and go on a date with the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover who'll be wearing a white dress a la Marilyn Monroe in "The Seven Year Itch"

-have bathroom clean-up duty after an all night frat party

-attend a basketball game

(Wait no, scratch that last one. I'd rather have my skull slowly torn apart by a retarded sloth with a rusty crowbar.)

-drink an entire pot of coffee

-become a lounge singer, specializing in re-working the hits of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera

-max out both my credit cards at Frederick's of Hollywood and then, properly attired, give a lap dance to a certain high-ranking Republican political official in Washington, D.C.

-run screaming to the nearest ultra-conservative church, and say "I'm pregnant with the Antichrist! Please! Let me have an abortion!"

-change the diapers of 26 hairy old men with diarrhea

-bathe in a tub full of spiders and bugs with lots of legs

-eat at McDonalds, after learning what kind of roadkill their burgers are *really* made from

There you have it folks. Those are some things I would rather be doing right now to alleviate my current state of pitiful, pathetic, nobody-loves-me-cause-I'm-a-loser-who's-stuck-in-Hickville boredom. Now if you would excuse me, I must go look up some N'Sync lyrics. Au revoir.

0 comments

previous - next

100 Books Club 100 Books Club

Days until Bush leaves office.
Designed by georgedorn and provided by Positronic Design.
Grab your own copy here.