Note to self: Do not attempt to stand on your head, no matter how bored you are or how comfortable the faux shag carpeting is. You could not do such things ten years ago. You'd think you would have learned from all those Bs in gym class. You were too uncoordinated then. You are too uncoordinated now, not to mention TOO DAMN OLD!

Further note to self: Be sure to throw vegetables, fresh and otherwise, at the next redneck that pulls over and asks you if you want a ride, even if you're just minding your own business, taking a nice walk down the street. Perhaps I'm wrong to think that sidewalks are there for a purpose other than leaving garbage cans and piles of leaves lying around on.

(And why is it that these particular generous rednecks are always so damn ugly? I know you're not supposed to accept rides from strangers, but say if a clone of Joaquin Phoenix were to coming driving down the street in his rusty red Chevy, pull over, spit, and say "Hey thar honey, ya want a ride?", I might just throw out the window all my common sense aquired from years of watching Full House, and take him up on his offer. Now don't worry, if Bubba/Joaquin were to try anything funny, I have seen "The Matrix" approximately 38797612345669 times, so I'm pretty sure I know kung fu.)

I wonder if they actually ID anyone down at the liquor store. Cheap booze is definitely in order. Have you ever felt the need to be incredibly drunk, if only because you were THAT bored? This is disturbing.

Don't get me wrong. It has been quite awesome hanging out with my sister. It's very difficult for me to become all mopey and depressed when she is around. I'm just too busy kicking her, that's all. ;)

Hehe, no not really. What I meant to say was, she is too busy kicking me. Or we are too busy creating evil plans to humiliate certain large religious organizations.

(Note: There is no need to send my ticket to hell. I'm already there! An interesting New Year's for once? A New Year's date? HAHAHAHAHAHA. Pipe dreams, my friends. Pipe dreams. Perhaps I should have asked Bubba.)

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