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You've got questions? I've got answers.
2002-12-08 - 12:12 p.m.


Ok, ok, like I promised, you have questions, I have answers.

Katie asks:

-"So speaking of your name, where did it come from? Or have I not read back far enough yet?"

Actually, I did explain the origin of mangofarmer once before, so I'll just refer you to that explanation because it's Sunday morning and I'm lazy. Not that my laziness really has anything to do with it being Sunday morning... Anyway, I would never force anyone to sit down and read all of my inane babble all at once! Oh the humanity.

Tari has several similar inquiries:

-"do you really farm mangoes? And if you do farm mangoes, how did you get started in the mango-farming province?"

In reality, no. But these people do. I would like to keep mango farming around as a possible career aspiration, you know, just in case I don't make it as a flute-playing bum on the street, a dancer at Coyote Ugly, or a professional witness in a wedding chapel in Vegas. I have to keep my options open. As to how you do get started in the mango business, I really have no clue. I always thought it would be pretty simple just buy some Paul Gaugin (yes, I had to correct that) prints, move to Tahiti (where of course I always envisioned my mango farm to be), visit the Interior Department of Mango Farming for a mango farming permit, buy some mango seeds and a little out-of-the-way corner somewhere, and get right to it. How hard can it be?

(Note: If there is a mango farming mafia, please do not come after me in the middle of the night armed with rotten mangoes on account of my stupidity or misrepresentation of the mango business. I will most likely be a very successful flute-playing bum anyway.)

-"And should there be an E in mangoes?"

My American Heritage Dictionary says it can be spelled either way: 'mangos' or 'mangoes'. I prefer the latter myself. It just looks sillier.

-"are you aware that in the censored version of "Die Hard III" that they bleep out Samuel L. Jackson's near-constant use of "motherfucker" with "melonfarmer?" Do you think mangofarmer would sound better?"

No I was not aware of such interesting editing. I have never even seen the movie. I don't think I've ever seen a "Die Hard" movie. Although I did enjoy Bruce Willis's guest appearance on Friends. And of course mangofarmer would sound better. The mango is a very misunderstood fruit.

Now I have my own question:

-You really have a lot of time on your hands to sit and come up with all these links, don't you?

Why yes. Yes I do.

**********

Thank you, that is all for now. If you have more questions, feel free to ask. I may explore another possible career choice as a question answerer, but that might put God out of business. Have a lovely afternoon.

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