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2002-10-30 - 7:41 p.m. Note to self: break in new dressy shoes a little bit more before you go walking around in them a lot. I am now injured. Mary Janes are hazardous to your health (I'm talking about the shoes, not pot, mind you. I have no real issues with potheads allowing that they don't drive or operate heavy machinery when they are around me. Potheads are not as dangerous, to me, as new shoes). So standing around at work for four hours today my heels were a nasty bloody mess. It kind of defeated my goal today of looking hottt. Not that Mary Janes help towards that goal any anyway. Stupid rules about only wearing closed-toe shoes. And to top it all off, the friendly manager girl insulted my shoes. She said that she was going to be Raggedy Ann for Halloween tomorrow and that she wished she had shoes like mine to complete her outfit. I just don't see what "grown-ups" (for her, I use this term very cautiously) see in dressing up on Halloween. Maybe I'm too old and boring before my time. Last year, someone asked me if I wanted to dress up on Halloween and I said sure, until I realized they meant wear a costume, and not just look nice. So my "costume" was the "sorority girl" outfit I mentioned in my last entry. Perhaps someday I'll get a clue but I don't think that will happen any time soon. Anyway, methinks the friendly manager girl is not so friendly after all. She just doesn't like me. And the new girl that she hired, the one that is younger than me and several other people that she can fire, is turning out to be some kind of clone. I pointed out to the girl that works in jewelry that the two were dressed eerily similarly- red top, khaki pants, and chunky heels. Weeeeird. Retail just is not my thing. Unfortunately my brain is rotting so much, and my sanity level is decreasing, so, well yeah. I dunno. January is coming up very quickly.... Moving on... wait, there's nothing to move on to. My life sucks, that's about it. I need someone to take pity on me and hang out with me. I'd say I have a certain someone in mind, but that is probably not the case.
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You desire loyalty, for people to stand by you. Impetus - deficit and/or excess of loyalty in your life experience. Problem - even among those close, rifts happen and loyalty based on need isn't entirely genuine. 
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