1) My name is Sarah. Please don't forget the 'h' on the end of that. The spelling of my last name has been through enough incorrect incarnations without adding such insult to injury.

2) That being said, I am an excellent speller. Dad let me be in spelling bees on Saturdays when I was a kid. I am an excellent speller.

3) Did anyone get the reference to "Rain Man" just then? No? Oh well.

4) I am female, by the way.

5) My cat is throwing up right now. Clean it up for me. Pretty please?

6) I don't cry at weddings. Out of spite, jealousy, or je ne sais quoi, I don't really know. But I can go to a funeral for a person I barely knew and cry my eyes out, not because I'm sad for myself, but because I'm sad for the people that knew the person. Does that make any sense?

7) I had canned lasagna for breakfast.

8) A letter just came in the mail for my grandmother, who has been dead for fifteen years. Strange.

9) I was born August 24, 1980, making me clueless.

10) I used to like Pachelbel's Canon in D. But I have to play it at yet another wedding this summer, so I don't any more.

11) Actually, weddings are kind of silly when you think about it. I wouldn't mind getting married in Vegas by Elvis. I wonder if they have priests in Vegas that dress up like Elvis in order to marry people. You know, for the more religiously-minded of the drunken impulse wedding crowd.

12) I graduated with a B.A. in music from a relatively large university in May 2002.

13) Amazingly enough, I do not have a job within my major.

14) I spent last summer working at a tiny grocery store.

15) For the last nine months or so, I have worked at Sears. Since February, I have worked in the shoe department.

16) This job gives my life so much meaning and fulfillment. You have no idea.

17) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

18) There's nothing like working in retail to tell you how much you really hate people.

19) I will have been playing the flute for thirteen years this September.

20) That's a long time.

21) Someone told me once that I "look like a flute player".

22) I took that as a compliment.

23) I have at least five people in charge of kicking me out of the state in order to go away and attend grad school this fall. I'm going to try my best not to disappoint them.

24) It boggles my mind how the hell I got into all three graduate schools I auditioned at. And one of those is a conservatory! A little one, but still. Yeah. For a masters in music performance, people! That is supposed to imply that you're good or something, and that you have a better instrument that a $600 (when new seven years ago) piece of crap intermediate flute!

25) Don't get me wrong, my flute playing is the one area of my life that I have complete confidence in. Or is it? My terminally low self-esteem in all other areas even takes control of this sometimes. Leading me to doubt my ability, as in #24. Also, #26:

26) I was an undecided major freshman year of undergrad. I didn't audition for the music school as a senior in high school because I didn't think I was good enough or that I had enough background.

27) After freshman year, when I got the letter saying I had indeed got into the music school, that was the happiest moment of my life.

28) I did marching band all throughout high school and college. Therefore, I am a band geek.

29) Don't believe me? Well, listening to old marching band CDs makes me cry sometimes. Especially when I'm drunk. There is nothing more pathetic than a sad, drunk, ex-band geek.

30) This one time, at band camp, I stuck my flute in my...... CASE! Pa-ha!

31) Seriously though, this one time at band camp in high school, we had a "slave" auction in which all the section leaders were auctioned off. Being a section leader, and a terrible one at that (when I said "Band ten hut!" I had a tendency to squeak), I was auctioned off. My "owners" (four giddy eighth graders) required me to wear high heels and a muumuu as I served them pizza.

32) Unfortunately, I have to go get ready for work now. So I will finish this later.

33) I am back now. You may rejoice.

34) So where the hell was I?

35) Sometimes, you goddamn asshole bastards, I like to use a lot of fucking profanity in this sonuvabitch of a diary. Fuck yeah. But I am anywhere near as profane in my speech, because of #36:

36) O:-)

37) I have this feeling I possess the "girl next door" image.

38) No, not that girl. The other girl. The geeky one. :)

39) Here are some things I have been called in my day: "human dictionary", "brain", "walking encyclopedia", and "schoolgirl", not to mention "sheltered".

40) I minored in psychology.

41) So, with the skills I learned through this minor, I've decided my quiet, geeky nature is the result of "nurture", over "nature". Yes. Because genetically, I should be a party animal. Every picture of my dad from his college years also contains one or more of these things: a keg, drunk people, drunk people passed out on or around a keg, or sleeping dogs, that are posed with empty beer bottles in their paws, in front of kegs. My mom says she "did a lot of crazy things" in college, but she will not elaborate and photographic evidence is lacking. Pretty fishy, I think.

42) Anyway, my environment has caused me to be a geek because I grew up hanging around quiet boring geeky people. Quiet boring geeky people that went to church, even.

43) So, what is a lapsed Catholic to do? Not be converted to her friends' particular brands of fundamentalist Christianity. They tried, really they did. So, now I really hate it when people saunter about trying to convert other people to their religions. Seriously, who is to say what is right and what is wrong? Let people believe what they want.

44) I like the number 44.

45) Anyway, I tried reading "War and Peace" in sixth grade because a girl in my English class said she did. She was my biggest rival for the "most geeky" crown. Heh. We had unspoken competitions about who ordered the most Newbury Honor Books out of those book order forms they passed around.

46) "War and Peace" is really, really boring. I got to the war part and kept falling asleep.

47) I read a lot, true. Also, I liked most everything I read in school. Except these: "The Pushcart War", "Hard Times", and "Their Eyes Were Watching God".

48) Actually, "Hard Times" was the one book I never actually finished (we read it in AP English). But I still got an 'A' on the paper.

49) I've never figured it out, but I always tended to write damn good papers. Which is weird because:

50) I am the Queen of Procrastination.

51) I used to eat all-nighters for breakfast.

52) You know, print out your paper, turn off the computer, then stumble to the shower to quickly try and wake up before you have to get ready for class at 8:30 AM. Fun times.

53) Do you want to hear some of the topics I wrote papers on in college?

54) Of course you do. Acid rain, the history of the flute between the years 1600 and 1800, a comparison of the usage of courtly love in "The Romance of Tristan" and "The Decameron", the music of the troubadors, Copland's "Appalachian Spring", the fourth movement of Beethoven's Symphony no. 9, Holst's "The Planets", Thomas Hart Benton's print "I got a gal on Sourwood Mountain", Ukrainian folk songs, the use of the flute in Bach's sacred music, sexual fantasy, and the history of the dizi, or Chinese classical flute.

55) Impressive, huh?

56) You're right. Not really.

57) I got a 1350 (740 verbal, 610 math) on the SAT and a 29 on the ACT. Is that impressive?

58) "No, it isn't." Actually, that was an important line I had in our silly school musical when I was in 8th grade.

59) Needless to say, that was my only actual theater experience. Ha. Ha.

60) Although, in that play, three sets of best friends, including my best friend and myself, each sang a verse together of a song about having no friends.

61) I really had fun in that play. So I decided to join drama club in high school. I was in it for two years.

62) These two years were pointless, because the drama club director had her favorite students and those were the only ones she ever cast in plays. The rest of us were left to fundraise for plays we would never get to be in.

63) Although, we did go as a club to see a professional touring production of "Guys and Dolls". Which was cool. I was hanging around with two seniors (I was a pipsqueak freshman), and during intermission, jokingly, they told people who walked by that one produced the show, and the other directed it. I countered with an enthusiastic "I was in the pit!"

64) Anyway, I was a terrible actor. ;) But for the one play I auditioned for in high school, "As you like it", everyone said I enunciated very well.

65) Speaking of this good enunciation, eveyone at work always asks me to page people over the PA because I speak so clearly.

66) I only speak clearly when I'm nervous. Like when I have to page people over the PA at work, for instance. :-P Or when I have to call people I don't know on the phone.

67) I have actually fully outgrown my middle school-aged phase of fondness of the telephone. I think of it as phone-a-phobia. Yuck.

68) That's why they invented AIM! For people like me! :)

69) "Spank me, I'm Ukrainian!" really would make a good button, wouldn't it?

70) Yeah, so I'm half Ukrainian and half hillbilly. Which you'd think would give me good alcohol-related partying genes.

71) Sadly, this is not the case.

72) Unlike many of my woefully underage counterparts, I never once drank alcohol until the night of the senior prom.

73) That was a funny night. Some kid in our limo stole a bottle of vodka from the country club where we had dinner. I guess you can imagine what happened after that- after the actual prom, we told the driver to drive around while we passed around the bottle. My date quickly became completely plastered! I refused to touch the stuff until someone had the bright idea to stop at a convenience store to buy some orange soda to mix it with. Even then, I was not drunk. I was just happy. ;)

74) We then all showed up in various degrees of alcohol-related wooziness to an after-prom party which was hosted by a friend's parents. Needless to say, we were the only ones there who had been drinking. I remember sitting in the kitchen drinking a glass of water, and everyone was fussing over me, asking me if I was okay. I guess they were amazed that I had been drinking! I was fine at that point. Just embarrassed. Hahahahahaha.

75) Amazingly (or pitifully), I never drank again until my 21st birthday- that was the night of the infamous flute party. :)

76) We certainly really know how to do some things. ;)

77) That was the best birthday I'd had in quite a long time. Eight years of band camp does not lend itself to good birthdays year after year.

78) But that was topped by my 22nd birthday. Who knew "over the hill" could be such fun? :) And yes, 22 is over the hill, dammit. Hahahahahaha.

79) Hmmm. Speaking of being old and pitiful and stuff, my little sister just turned 16. She will be getting her driver's license in a couple of weeks.

80) My little sister is my favorite person in the entire world. *hint hint hint*

81) Yes, because, me being the giant freak of nature that I am, I do not have a license. For no reason other than no one ever wanted to consistently take the effort to teach me. So, my sister, who is almost seven years younger than me (!!!!!!!!!), has promised to teach me to drive this summer.

82) I admit, being almost 23 and having a learner's permit is fun when I buy alcohol. It's worth it to see the look of utter confusion of the clerk's face.

83) Makeup bothers me, so I don't wear it that much. Which probably is why customers at work always ask me what high school I *go* to. They look so surprised when I say I *went* to such-and-such high school before I graduated from such-and-such university. Yeah. Haha. I also like to keep my hair pretty long, which doesn't help either.

84) But hey, my long, brown curly hair is my best feature. Not that I really have bad features. ;)

85) I never used to be a crazy shoe-buying girly girl until I started working in the shoe department at Sears. But you have no idea how nice shoes start to look when you look at them all day....

86) Another shopping addiction of mine is books. I haven't read at least a third of my books. Yet. Seriously, as I told hornstar, I will meet my death in an avalanche of my own books.

87) I'm now reading "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets". Have to pregame for the new book, you know. :)

88) I've always loved music. Duh. But in the past year, I've purchased over 60 CDs. This is an insanely large number for me.

89) But, in the absence of structured musical immersion on a daily basis, i.e. having graduated from music school, I've compensated by buying oodles and oodles of CDs, because

90) Music fills the void. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been a little bit depressed off and on for the past year and a half. Many take to the real world quite nicely. I didn't.

91) In the previous fact, I first typed "laying" instead of "lying". Hehehehehehehe.

92) I have a really good sense of direction. Too bad I have no license, eh?

93) I think this is because I have always always always loved to look out the window when traveling, be it by car, bus, plane, anything. Therefore, I learned to pay attention to my surroundings.

94) When I was about 10, I once wrote down every exit on a 700 mile stretch of interstate. Yeah so I still have practically every exit on this, obviously well-traveled stretch, memorized.

95) I really do love road trips. No one takes me anywhere anymore though, *sniff sniff*.

96) But I have been to (or through) these states: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, and Arizona. And also Canada, which is of course not a state. It's a whole 'nother country. Yes.

97) I am jealous of people who have been to Europe. If I had my druthers (and I'm hoping these are druthers have a lot of money), I would hit the biggies: London, Paris, Rome, Vienna, Venice. I may also bum around Scotland and head over to Ukraine to find my long lost potato-farming, vodka-imbibing relatives.

98) I don't smoke. Nor will I ever smoke. My parents have smoked all of my life and certainly longer than that. When I was little I was jealous of my mother's cigarettes- they spent more time with her sometimes than I did.

99) I got a four-year, $6000 scholarship to my college on the basis of one little A- in one little class I took in high school. You would think I would be grateful of this, but I'm not. I know lots of people who got different, bigger scholarships who were a lot stupider than me. I'm smart and po'! People should throw money at me because of this.

100) Oh well. I really did love that place. Even though after the first full day of band camp and therefore the first day I really saw any of the campus (none of those silly tours for me, thank you!), I was about ready to transfer back to the community college here in town where at least half my high school class went. Yep.

101) That day was also my 18th birthday. It was probably my worst birthday ever.

102) Mostly because no one knew it was my birthday, and of course, being the shy person that I am, I didn't want to volunteer this information. So, I now make it a point to do my best never to forget birthdays. Because people remembering my birthday makes me so stupidly happy for no apparent reason.

103) I collect postcards. For the pictures, mostly, I don't care about a postmark. So wherever I travel, I always buy postcards.

104) One of my favorites is an aerial view of my alma mater's campus.

105) The thing I remember most about playing soccer in seventh grade is what was my regular meal choice when we stopped for a heeeeealthy fast food dinner after the games- the two cheeseburgers value meal. Haha. Sports? Not my thing. Especially basketball. But I think that is obvious. ;)

106) I've only tried an actual mango once. Oh well. You might want to read about why I call myself "mangofarmer" here.

107) I'm a little bit addicted to this silly diary, now aren't I? Thanks for reading. :)

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